The rumours are true.

I've got a puppy.

This has changed my life in several unexpected ways and sent my thoughts into several (as yet uncharted) directions, and I thought I'd note some of them down in an attempt to record them and (more importantly!) understand them.

1. I love her.
I grew up with dogs in the house, however they were always family dogs (or, on one memorable occasion, my brothers). Biscuit, this bundle of fluff who has invaded my space, is mine. My husband is obviously involved in this relationship, however only he can say how much she has impacted HIS life. I speak for me.
I've very much a dog person. The instant forgiveness, the unconditional love and tail wagging, the snuggles and superman launches all give me that little pang inside. Which I thoroughly enjoy, and which also disturbs me a little. More on that in point 2.
In a short space of time, she's become such an integral part of our house. Our time spent at home includes (and often revolves around) her, which scares me.


2. She's not human - and I'm so grateful.
Being responsible for this character, this ball of energy and enthusiasm and amusing noises, is amazing and it's overwhelming. I've caught myself, more than once, thanking God and goodness and myself that I don't have kids yet. I couldn't play with a 4 month old human for a half hour in the morning, then leave her in a pen outside with food and water while I get ready for work. I couldn't leave her in the backyard while I do the ironing, or only bathe her once a week.
While many of my facebook gal-pals (all those girls I knew in school - barely - and now get to know intimately online through their albums and postings) are on their 2nd, 3rd or 4th offspring, I'm yet to make one baby. In the past few years I'd caught myself wistfully looking at their offspring, wondering if we should take the plunge... and now thanks to Biscuit I'm suddenly questioning if I want to plunge (so to speak) at all.
I may be chronologically in my prime, but I've noticed some traits about myself that wouldn't be healthy in a mum. I'm not patient, and can get frustrated to tears quite easily (take this morning. Why oh why, dear puppy, did you choose to wait until we were quite literally out the door before you knocked over your water? 3 times? I know you'll be checked on during the day, but it stresses me out that you could be without water for a couple of hours, all because you think it's a game). I try and reason with a puppy, which may indicate that I'd try to reason with a toddler. I don't need Dr Phil to tell me neither conversation will end with revelation and obedience on the part of the puppy/child.

3. Puppies are not grandchildren.
My Mother In Law is a wonderful woman. I need to say this first and foremost, because I know point 3 is my projection and not her actions. Much.
From the 2nd day we bought her home, my husband's mum has been smitten. She rings to see how she is, if she can help out by puppy sitting, and if she can come and visit. Biscuit has a ridiculous number of toys to play with - and I get stupid satisfaction out of the fact that her favourite two toys are the (only) ones I bought her. All the rest have just appeared over the last 2 months, along with effusive praise.
I find that I'm overly sensitive to any criticism of my puppy-owning/training skills. I back up our rules with research, of which I have done much, as well as experience (growing up with many dogs over the years). I defend Biscuit's actions (she's not naughty, she's just teething!) with much zeal. This isn't to say that I don't take advice and experience on board... I just feel the need to emphasise that we'll decide what's best for her.
Needless to say, when we were over there for dinner and I heard her say to Biscuit 'there are no rules at Grandma's house!' I got a little tense. I can't help but translate this into what it may be like to have kids, and it stresses me out to no end.
In reality, I'm blessed to have a caring mother in law who asks my permission and opinion in things, and wants to help out with the new addition. I know this, I just need to remind myself sometimes :D

4. I'm ok with wee.
I've never been an icky person, medical shows and graphic blood-and-guts fascinate me (I got in trouble for trying to watch my toe being operated on - apparently I was moving around too much and my 'oohs and aahs' were a little disconcerting..), but I always wondered how I'd be around the 'ol numbers 1 and 2. It turns out, I think I'll be fine. Sure, it's no smelly nappy, but if this is a learning curve then I think I'm doing alright.

5. My husband will be a great dad.
Despite my earlier opining, I've no doubt that one day in the (not so distant - I AM a few months shy of 30, afterall..) future, we will have children. While I'm sure it will be exciting and thrilling and scary, I rest in the knowledge that I am married to a man who isn't prone to emotional outbursts (like me) or snap decisions (also like me). He is patient, forgiving, tolerant, and he also isn't afraid to do night-time toilet tours when despite the puppy-ish whining I just can't get out of bed. He is strict, but with a fun streak that equals enthusiastic races and tug-o-wars with twigs and towels. He's pretty damn good.

Sorry about the gush there! Point 5 surprised even me! I think it's time to head home and feed him a roast or something... with some raw meat cut off for Biscuit of course! Then we'll race around the backyard, take a break for some TV (Biscuit is ok with gunfire and explosions, thankfully!!) and then settle down with a book with a corgi across our feet.

Life is good.